I think it would be acceptable to describe LoveSystems as a company that is dedicated to teaching men how to get women.  I have personally been involved in hundreds of programs teaching thousands of men this very thing.

But for some men that’s not enough.  For some men the very idea of expending EFFORT to get a woman is beyond the point.  “Who wants to work for it?”  I couldn’t agree more.  I’m way to lazy to try and go out and get laid every…single…time…I want to have sex.  Also, I’ve got other shit to do.  Who has that many hours to spend just hooking up?

It is from here that I bring you a question directly from The Lounge (LoveSystems’ members only message board)

Hi

Many times when I take girls and text them they respond well. But the thing is that I always need to open the conversation, I dont care doing it the first times, but I know girls for a few months that never start texting me but when I text them first they get really social and never flakes.

What am I’m doing wrong?

Quick answer: nothing.  This is just part of male/female dynamics. Men are the chasers. Men are the aggressors. Part of this is a woman’s desire to be chased, and part of it is a woman being attracted to the kind of guy who goes after what he wants.

Part of being masculine is having the attitude of “See. Want. Get.” This doesn’t mean go all cavemen and just started grabbing women off the street, but having the attitude of the pursuer is an attractive quality.

I understand the desire to have women chasing you and blowing up your phone without you doing any work, but that comes W ITH a little work. If you get your identity in check and start in the position of the pursuer, then back off a little sometimes they start coming after you.

Part of it is also adopting the attitude of someone who has women chasing him. Framing your stories with things like “this girl I met a few months ago texted me out of nowhere” or “My first girlfriend asked ME out. Some girls think that’s weird, but I love it when women put out that kind of effort” will make it seem like getting chased is something that you’re used to.

And finally, part of this comes from having an abundance.  You’ll find that the more quality numbers you get, the more dates you’ll go on, and the less time you’ll have available for the women who want to see you.  They sense that lack of desperation, that lack of availability, and they start putting in effort for your attention.

Extremely busy here in NYC.  Doing standup, dating ladies, and leading my own bootcamps (whooo!).  Not a ton of time for blogging

HOWEVER!  I did want to drop a line to let you know I’ve ALREADY started working on my talk for the Superconference in Vegas this year.  Last year I got voted best presenter for the entire conference, so I want to make sure I do my best to hold the title

The title of the talk is “3 Sets from Start to Finish” and it will be just that: going over everything that happened from meet to sex with 3 distinct women.

Guys, it’s gonna be a sick talk.  I can tell already.  Bring head-diapers, because I’ m gonna make your brains shit.

So here we have She’s Out of Your League, a feel good rom-com about a nerdy TSA agent who manages to get a 10 to fall in love with him…by doing NOTHING!  Nothing is done by this guy in the way of building rapport or value or even just normal conversation, and STILL the super hot one wants to get on him.  NONSENSE, I SAY!

I’ve got no problem with a supposed 5 getting a supposed 10, but the way it happened in the movie NEVER happens in real life.  It is explained away in the movie that the 10 was tired of getting hurt by jerks so she wanted to give the 5 a try, but that’s not how hot women really operate.  If they want a non-jerk, they get a hot non-jerk with some value.

I do appreciate one element of the movie, though.  The inner game element.  One of the big fights that this “couple” has is over the guy thinking he’s not qualified to be dating the girl (and he’s right), which le ads to the girl going into a monologue about how his own nonsense is the only thing ruining their relationship.

Here’s the interesting thing: that happens a lot in real life.  One of the inner game issues that tons of guys deal with is feelings of worthiness.  This comes up a lot with guys who take our seminar, then suddenly find themselves dating women far out of their league and ruining it on purpose.  It’s like you suddenly find yourself at the controls of a SR71 BlackBird and you have no idea how to fly, so you just go ahead and let it crash.

Never wig out because a woman likes you.  There is no out of your league.   The weird thing would be if hot women WEREN’T into you.

Long story short: If you watch this movie, know that this isn’t how guys get hot girls.

As I read it I couldn’t help but think how many people would benefit from the information collected in this book. I think it is extremely hard when you are growing up a virgin (or are still a virgin) to have a really good idea of what goes on in other people’ s mind s concerning sex. I know that for a long time I had that misconception about women not really enjoying sex, and it made dating and sex extremely difficult for me.  The people in this book come from all walks of life and run the sexual gamut, from women and men who treat their first time like precious stones, protecting it at all costs, to those who just want to get rid of it as quickly as possible.

Moreover, it is extremely important that we recognize how many different sexual philosophies there are out there, either based on how we were raised or our own individual experiences or the random combinations of protein that make up our individual DNA.  With that in mind, you can already take one lesson away from this book: that you can never totally know what to expect when dealing with another person.  Instead of trying to plan out the perfect set, you need to approach game like a basketball player approaches practice.  You drill the basics, but since you can never know what’s going to happen in any specific game, you roll with the punches and deal with each player moment to moment.

Because of this, and other lessons hidden in between the lines of each person’s unique stories, I highly recommend this book to anyone, be they virgins or non.  Not only can it be extremely helpful to your game, but also, I found it immensely entertaining.  Hilarious at moments.  Poignant and heartfelt at others.   Enjoy!

(Pick up your copy of “How to Lose Your Virginity” here)

What’s up, kids?

I was recently doing some personalized 1-1 training here in beautiful NYC when my student asked me how many women I’d slept with (I’m actually doing him a favor by not saying exactly HOW he asked me, because he asked me in the most juvenile and retarded way possible).  I get asked this question way too much, and so now, inspired by the sheer immaturity of the WAY in which my student asked me, here is my official answer:

Why is knowing my number important to yo u?  What difference does my number have on you learning how to get women?  Will knowing my number give you a deeper understanding of Qualification?  “73?  OH!  Compliment them on something BESIDES their looks!  I get it now!”

Will my number give you something to aspire to?  Will it be your benchmark to let you know when you’ve officially got skills?  “Only 53?  Sorry, buddy, but you only have game once you’ve reached 60.”

Knowing my number isn’t important.  In fact, I’m gonna go one step farther and say that asking about my number isn’t just a waste of time, it is also damaging.  It says to me that you are judging success by outside standards, that you are trying to validate your sex life by comparing it to mine.

Define your own success.  Don’t try and sleep with tons of women because you think that’s what being a man is, or what being happy is.  If you want to find that one special girl and go long term with her, go for it.  If you want to sleep with hundreds of women, then go ahead and sleep with hundreds of women, but do it for you.  Don’t do it so you can show people the notches on your belt.

At LoveSystems, we are about teaching men how to have a successful dating/sex life.  For some that means getting into a long term relationship, and for others it means racking up a high number.  But whatever your definition of success is, it should be what YOU WANT.

One of my favorite things about working for LS is how diverse the teaching staff is, and how each one of us has his own definition of success.  Some guys that work for LS love strippers.  Love sleeping with them.  Love dating them.  Theses guys constantly invite me to strip clubs after bootcamp to see if we can “game the strippers.”  I always respond the same way:  “Why would I want that?  I don’t think strippers are hot.  I don’t like fake boobs, glitter or daddy-issues.”

Should I try to sleep with a stripper just so I can tell other guys that I did it and they can validate me with THEIR definition of success?  UGH!  Gross!  Just thinking about it makes me tired/want to take 100 showers.

Moreover, there are guys out there who only sleep with women so they can have a higher number than other guys, so they ask about my number so see if they’ve beaten me.  Is that what being high value means?  Is that Alpha?  Does that really sound satisfying to you?

It does?!  Well then, Merry Christmas my man!  Go ahead and take your victory lap.  I give you permission to tell everyone you know that you’ve slept with more women than me, Big Business, a professional dating coach.  However many women you’ve slept with, you can say Big Business slept with one less.  Or five less.  Or ten less.  You can tell people I’ve slept with one woman, or no women.

Tell people I’m a virgin.  I don’t care.  I don’t care because having a high number isn’t success to me.

What is success to Big Business?  I want to be an amazing comedian.  I want to make people laugh with my material.  I want to have my writing published and/or produced.  I want to never have to worry about money.  And oh yeah…I want to have sex 500,000 times, but I don’t care if I do it all with one girl or fifty.

It doesn’t matter what my history is.  The only thing that matters is where you’re at, where you want to be, and how we’re gonna get you there.

But if you just want to compare dick sizes, I’ll save you the trouble.  It’s medium.

BB:  Nice eyes.

Girl:  What?

It was loud, so I made an “I like your eyes” hand gesture, and she thought it was funny, so it was on.

We chatted for a little bit.  I did a little Raise my Value style DQ where I talked about how hot my abs were since I’d been working out “like, twice a month.  For reals,” then put her hand on them to check them out.  She was into it, so I pressed onwards.

BB:  Let’s check out yours.

I put my hands on her abs.  Physical escalation starts.

BB:  I like your style, but my shirt is cooler than yours.  (More Raise my Value style DQ)

She pulled down the zipper on my sweater to check out my shirt.

BB:  Whoa!  If we were in the office, that would be totally inappropriate.  I said to check out my shirt, not make me uncomfortable.  How would you like it if I just yanked down your dress?

She laughed, then thrust her chest out, as if to say “go ahead and inspect me.”

When a girl does this sort of thing, ie jump rungs on the sexuality progression ladder, most guys try to leap frog right into the make out, which I am generally against.  Most of the time this is just a test.  A guy who isn’t used to having breasts thrust in front of him will react like a kid on Christmas and wig the F-out.  For a high value guy, this is just another day at the races.

I gave the top of her dress a little tug, checked out her rack, then put it back.

BB:  I feel dirty.  I’ve got to go to confession in the morning now.

She laughed.

Considering the level of physical intimacy she was letting me get away with, I deduced that I had enough attraction that the logistics of her friends wouldn’t be an issue.  She told me where she lived, which is a clear indication that she wanted to hook up tonight.  Now all I had to do was find a way to tell her we should get out of there.

BB:  I should let you know that I’m fine with handling boobs in the club, but I only hold vagina when I get into a cab.

While she had been laughing at all my Ridiculous Comments style DQ, this one she didn’t seem to c are for, and pulled back a little.

Girl:  Not interested in you touching my vagina.  We’re just gonna be friends.

As with any test, the most important thing is to not get shook.  You can recover from most anything so long as you remain non-reactive.

BB:  That’s cool.  I should let you know, though, that one of the rules for being my friend is I get full vagina access.  And it’s a two way street.  I’m not gonna be stingy with my genitals.  I’m not selfish like that.

She laughed again.  Game back on.

I had locked in against a chair, and the physical escalation had gotten intense.  At one point we were comparing our boob sizes (hers were way bigger), and pressing our chests together to make “giant mega boobs.”  And yes, there was motor-boating.

Girl:  Let’s get another drink.

BB:  I’ll be totally useless if I get another drink.  I won’t be able to fool around with you in a cab if I do.

Girl:  Who says we’re gonna fool around in the cab?

BB:  Well, I’m not gonna make out with you here.  I’m a good Christian boy.  Though I should tell you that boobs are my weakness.  I’ll do whatever you say so long as you put your boobs on me.  I’ll even paint your house.

She then puts her boobs on me.

Girl:  Can’t we get one more drink?

BB:  I’ve got a better idea.  Let’s go get our jackets and get out of here.

I grabbed her hand and led her to the coat check.

Unfortunately for you guys I don’t remember all that much that was said throughout the evening, but here is a fun bit I had with one of my sets…

Girl: Your last name sounds Jewish.
BB: It is.
Girl: You don’ t look Jewish.
BB: Just my genitals.
Girl: (laughs) So I guess that means you’re circumcised?
BB: No. It means my dick wears a yarmulke.  And payos.

Many apologies for the radio silence.  A lot’s been going on in the world for BB.

As I’m sure some of you may know, all the LS blogs were down for a good month-ish, and a lot of content was lost.  That, plus the Super Conference in Las Vegas, the holidays, my st andup career, and dating ladies all meant I had precious little time to actually write about my exciting adventures and developments.

FOR EXAMPLE: You are now reading an official blog from a LoveSystems Master Instructor! That’s right, son!  I was promoted after this past Super Conference, and will now be leading bootcamps around the east coast, in addition to the occasional Humor, Improv and Attraction seminar. 

ALSO: I was voted BEST (mother fucking) PRESENTER at the 2010 LoveSystems Super Conference for my talk on Humor and Sexual Framing.  It was a fucking blast.  I had people coming up to me for the rest of the weekend telling me how much they liked the talk.   I’m pretty proud of it.  It was a lot of information that I teach in my Humor, Improv and Attraction seminar, plus some stories that I usually leave out for propriety’s sake.  I’ ll probably be revisiting it next year, so make sure you reserve your spot for 2011 ASAP.

AND IN ADDITION: I’ve also been making some headway in my career as a standup.  I’ve been performing steadily, about 5-8 times a week, and now that the holidays are over I’ll be able to devote a lot more time to writing material.  I’ll be sure and hit you guys up once I’m ready for Comedy Central

While it’s true I haven’t had time to post, that doesn’t mean I haven’t been thinking about shit to write about.  I’ve got a backlog of potential blog material, so make sure you keep checking in for all the awesome updates.

Here’s to killing it in 2011!

-BB

(In Sydney, Australia. Talking to an Asian lawyer)

Girl: What, are you trying to sideswipe this conversation?!

BB: Did you just say “sideswipe?”

Girl: Yeah.

BB: Oh. That clearly means something different here in Australia than in America (fyi sideswipe doesn’t mean anything special in America. Everything below is total BS)

Girl: What does it mean in America?

(Shit. Now I have to make up what “sideswiping” means in America)

BB: It’ s a little dirty.

Girl: I’m a big girl.

BB: Okay, well, sideswiping is when you are spooning with a girl and she’s already told you she doesn’t want to have sex with you, so while you are spooning with her you try and slide your junk into her from between her legs.

(The Asian Lawyer laughs)

(In New York, talking to a chesty, twenty year old singer)

Girl: My uncle just shacked up with a girl my age.

BB: I’m hoping to be like that when I’m old. When we’re fifty I’m totally gonna cheat on you with a bunch of 18 year old girls, in addition to sleeping with all your friends.

Girl: Fine! Then I’m gonna cheat on you with 18 year old boys!

BB: Girls. You’re gonna cheat on me with 18 year old girls, and I’m totally fine with that.

Girl: No! Boys! I’m gonna sleep with 18 year old boys!

BB: You keep saying “boys” when you mean “girls.” It’s very confusing, because I know we both like sleeping with 18 year old girls a lot, and how we’re gonna share an 18 year old girl tonight.

(Chesty singer laugh)

Check back for more awesome improvised shit!

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But that wasn’t what was so hot about this weekend. What was amazing was having The Don, Braddock, Sphinx and Soul all in town at the exact same time. It was a fucking blast.

The students were great this weekend as well. I was definitely impressed with their progress and positive attitudes. Having fun with this stuff is half the battle. It will make you want to continue going out, and that is 90% of the game right there.

I’d never met Soul before, but he joined The Don, Braddock and I out for dinner on the first night, and within minutes we were all recounting stories of our incredible and retarded sexual exploits. It was so much fun it should have been illegal. True to form, Soul couldn’t stop from doing street approaches, so Sphinx and I got a few free demonstrations of his Street/Day Game prowess.

The infield on the first night was crazy-party-fun-time. An old friend, Dr.Feelgood, joined us out, which only added to the retarded fun. I picked up a cougar who’s tits I was fondling within 20 minutes. I managed this by keeping insane momentum up from the moment I met her, and jumping a few rungs in the physical escalation ladder. I really only remember how I opened her, though:

BB: Holy shit!
Cougar: What?
BB: You look like my friend Maria. I could have sworn you were her, so I came over to say hello.
Cougar: I’m not.
BB: You’re like her mirror image. You could be her younger sister.
Cougar: (laughs) That is so the right thing to say.
BB: Well, I’m not gonna come over here and tell you that you look like her older, uglier sister. That wouldn’t go over well. “Hey, you look like a fat and disgusting version of another friend of mine. Let me buy you a beer, you wart-covered troll version of my friend.”

At 2am a few of us went to go get pizza with two Australian girls we’d picked up right before bailing. Braddock kept insisting they were Japanese, and that they should go back to China if they didn’t like being in a country with “rules”.

Meanwhile, one of our students didn’t even make it to the venue because he was busy using the skills he’d learned at bootcamp to get laid.

The second night was equally fun and retarded. The Australian girls met us at the bar we were holding the infield at, yet didn’t seem to think it was weird when guys kept coming up to us and asking us how their “sets” went. I saw my dream girl in a 4 set, but before I could even think of an opener, Sphinx, my new least favorite person , jumped on it and bounced her back to his hotel. You better be careful, asshole. I’ve got photos of you that could be…damaging.

Soul, meanwhile, didn’t even show up to the infield until 1am on account of not being able to figure out how the NYC subway systems works, despite having been born and raised in a major metropolitan area. Braddock, the white trash Okla-homo, didn’t have any such trouble not accidentally ending up in Brooklyn.

Meanwhile, another student didn’t make it to the venue because he was busy using the skills he’d learned at bootcamp to get laid as well.

That’s two students getting laid before going to the infield in one weekend, which has to be some kind of record.

After seminar we bounced to another bar for some random chatty. One of our newer instructors taught us all a new opener…

StinkFinger (with heavy Jersey accent): “Hey, look at these fucking broads! What? I don’t even get a fucking thank you?!”

I have yet to see it work infield, but I could just be saying it wrong

Braddock entertained us all with his Australian accent, which sounded like an old British man, and was really only one sentence repeated over and over again: “Goddamn it, Braddock! I’ve had it up to here with your shenanigans and ballyhoo!”

I’m giving myself an award for The Most Fucked Up Thing Ever Said In Set. Actually, I’m giving myself both the Silver and Gold medal in this category, with the silver going to my 3 minute speech on what it’s like to go down on the withered and wrinkled vaginas of grandmothers, and the Gold going to the sentence, “I’m so thin, I could put my whole body in your vagina and you probably wouldn’t even feel it. I could throw a party in your womb for a whole weekend, probably.” The girl I said both these sentences to fucking loved it, but do not attempt to repeat. It is for professionals only.

I think the funniest thing said all weekend, though, came after Social Circle and Day Game both got out and we all headed over to a bar for a night cap and some bad decisions. Soul took a sip of Braddock’s beer and was surprised to find that it was a Blue Moon with 3 or 4 orange slices in it.

I guess Soul expected our little Okla-homo to be drinking something a little more red state-y, like Budweiser or Coors Light, because he shouted (with his proper English accent) “Braddock’s drinking a beer with OJ in it?! Where’s your usual mongoloid beverage?”

Soul, if you want to not sound hoity toity, you might want to avoid words like “mongoloid.”

4 straight days of teaching, drinking and meetin ladies. Now, that’s a weekend.

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