Warning – this is an inner game rant
What’s up, kids?
I was recently doing some personalized 1-1 training here in beautiful NYC when my student asked me how many women I’d slept with (I’m actually doing him a favor by not saying exactly HOW he asked me, because he asked me in the most juvenile and retarded way possible). I get asked this question way too much, and so now, inspired by the sheer immaturity of the WAY in which my student asked me, here is my official answer:
Why is knowing my number important to yo u? What difference does my number have on you learning how to get women? Will knowing my number give you a deeper understanding of Qualification? “73? OH! Compliment them on something BESIDES their looks! I get it now!”
Will my number give you something to aspire to? Will it be your benchmark to let you know when you’ve officially got skills? “Only 53? Sorry, buddy, but you only have game once you’ve reached 60.”
Knowing my number isn’t important. In fact, I’m gonna go one step farther and say that asking about my number isn’t just a waste of time, it is also damaging. It says to me that you are judging success by outside standards, that you are trying to validate your sex life by comparing it to mine.
Define your own success. Don’t try and sleep with tons of women because you think that’s what being a man is, or what being happy is. If you want to find that one special girl and go long term with her, go for it. If you want to sleep with hundreds of women, then go ahead and sleep with hundreds of women, but do it for you. Don’t do it so you can show people the notches on your belt.
At LoveSystems, we are about teaching men how to have a successful dating/sex life. For some that means getting into a long term relationship, and for others it means racking up a high number. But whatever your definition of success is, it should be what YOU WANT.
One of my favorite things about working for LS is how diverse the teaching staff is, and how each one of us has his own definition of success. Some guys that work for LS love strippers. Love sleeping with them. Love dating them. Theses guys constantly invite me to strip clubs after bootcamp to see if we can “game the strippers.” I always respond the same way: “Why would I want that? I don’t think strippers are hot. I don’t like fake boobs, glitter or daddy-issues.”
Should I try to sleep with a stripper just so I can tell other guys that I did it and they can validate me with THEIR definition of success? UGH! Gross! Just thinking about it makes me tired/want to take 100 showers.
Moreover, there are guys out there who only sleep with women so they can have a higher number than other guys, so they ask about my number so see if they’ve beaten me. Is that what being high value means? Is that Alpha? Does that really sound satisfying to you?
It does?! Well then, Merry Christmas my man! Go ahead and take your victory lap. I give you permission to tell everyone you know that you’ve slept with more women than me, Big Business, a professional dating coach. However many women you’ve slept with, you can say Big Business slept with one less. Or five less. Or ten less. You can tell people I’ve slept with one woman, or no women.
Tell people I’m a virgin. I don’t care. I don’t care because having a high number isn’t success to me.
What is success to Big Business? I want to be an amazing comedian. I want to make people laugh with my material. I want to have my writing published and/or produced. I want to never have to worry about money. And oh yeah…I want to have sex 500,000 times, but I don’t care if I do it all with one girl or fifty.
It doesn’t matter what my history is. The only thing that matters is where you’re at, where you want to be, and how we’re gonna get you there.
But if you just want to compare dick sizes, I’ll save you the trouble. It’s medium.
Big Business is a 
Great rant. Respect. I struggle with this at times, in regards to individual girls rather than the number game, but it gets easier as time goes on. As you begin to see the correlation between which girls don’t make you happy and how your insecurities may pressure you into going for them, it becomes a lot easier to just choose what makes you happy.
Great comment, Tim! Thanks for reading!
Your number is relevant because it’s directly correlated to skill with women, which is something you propose to teach. (eg. If I was going to hire a homebuilder to teach me to build a house, I’d want to know how many houses he has built.) Knowing your number may not create a deeper understanding of Qualification (or whatever) for the student but it will assure the student that YOU have a deep understanding of it, and aren’t just spouting a bunch of theory you learned elsewhere. Your students can then trust your advice. Not revealing your number just makes people suspicious that you’re hiding it, because it’s low, and that you don’t really know what you’re teaching. Your number IS important.
I understand where you’re coming from, Wolf, but I respectfully disagree. As I’m sure you know, once you’ve been involved in this community for awhile you realize how easy it is to rack up a large number, especially if you lower your standards (eg. I’d rather have someone teach me to build a house who’s built 10 awesome ones than 200 shitty ones). There are guys I know with numbers in the triple digits who I wouldn’t take advice from if you paid me.
Moreover, part of what we teach at LoveSystems is developing the attitude and mentality of a natural. A natural doesn’t think twice about his experiences with women because they are easy and common place. A natural doesn’t keep track of his number the same way one doesn’t keep track of naps taken or sandwiches eaten. I wouldn’t teach my students to keep track of their number because it distances them from that natural’s abundance mentality.
And lastly, and maybe most importantly, how can you trust someone’s number? While it is important to learn from someone who knows what they’re doing, there are WAY better methods of rating instructors (student reviews, peer endorsement, etc) than a number that one could just make up.
Thanks for the comment (sincerely),
-BB
Thank you… for nice thoughts ..
Cheers Lucy.