And now…the exciting conclusion of Rags to Bitches: The Big Business Story (I stole that from an episode of “The Boondocks”)
When we last left our hero he was sitting at home, nearly in tears, wondering what was so wrong with him that women seemed almost instantly turned off by him. Failure was the only thing I knew. I was ready to give up.
Then, a few weeks before my 27th birthday, I ran into an old friend on the stand up circuit. We talked for a bit about stand up and trying to get more work, then headed to a coffee shop to catch up. Towards the end of the night, he told me two things that blew my f-ing mind: first, that he was a dating coach for a company called LoveSystems, and second, that he might be able to help me with my issues. I took my bootcamp with him and saw almost instant changes. I got my first same night lay in 30 days of going out, and a few weeks after that started dating a girl I’d been obsessing over for two years.
I found a few wings in my area and we made a point of going out together consistently. A few of them hit it really hard and got kinda burned out (I was lucky enough to be too busy to do that). Some of them refused to actually open and spent most of their time researching and posting on message boards (they never got better, shockingly). There were a couple though who, like me, were committed to making long term progress not just reading at home. Moderation in all things, friends.
Still, I was putting in a lot of work and I wasn’t seeing the kind of results I wanted. That led me to my two breakthroughs, and to the rise of Big Business.
BREAKTHROUGH NUMBER 1: I started going out with the intention of enjoying myself rather than getting laid. I fell back on my training as a comedian and started using humor and improv exclusively to build interest. The result was exponentially positive. Sets were opening easier. I was getting almost instant attraction. Women were giving me their numbers and making out with me in bars. I’d made my first giant leap forward.
I started getting a lot of same night lays. For about two months I hooked up with a different girl every weekend (sometimes two). It was something that I had wanted for a long time; to be that guy who could walk into a bar and walk out with a beautiful woman. I’m not gonna lie, it was crazy fun, but it ended up being WAY more work than I wanted to put in. Open, attract, isolate, bounce, and seduce a new girl every weekend?! I’m way too lazy to do that for more than two months. 
I wanted to see if I could keep women around after the first night, so I started experimenting with different techniques and situations. I went out during the day, I switched up direct and indirect on the club and in the street, I focused on getting dates, setting up casual relationships, and maintaining dominant frames over long periods of time. And after awhile it was working…kinda.
You see, I was still missing a giant piece of the puzzle.
BREAKTHROUGH NUMBER 2: I started telling women that I was into them. At around 8 months in I was asked to help out on one of Future’s bootcamps, and so I found myself at a bar in NYC doing a demo for one of the students. One of the girls said something that I found hilarious, so I pointed right at her and shouted, “You’re awesome!” It wasn’t something I was planning on doing. I just got lost in the moment. Funny thing is, I saw her face melt in a way that I’d never seen before. She started texting me almost instantly, insisting that we hang out sometime later in the week.
I went back to my LoveSystems notes to figure out what had gone so right, when it hit me: qualification. I STILL, after all these years, hadn’t been letting women know that I liked them. I still had that crazy fear of people knowing; of putting myself in a position to be rejected. At eight months I realized the power of owning your attraction and intent.
Everything fell into place from there: Big Business was hired by LoveSystems about four months later and started working on an average of 30 bootcamps a year. I’ve worked with hundreds of guys since then who suffered from my exact same anxiety, and have been able to help most of them get past it. At this past super conference I was able to finally reveal some of the comedy and impov techniques that get me attraction so quickly (and that used to be the secret to my same night lays).
I hope you guys enjoyed my story and hopefully got something out of it. If you’re at all interested in learning more about how to improvise incredible routines and conversation and in general be funnier with women, then you need to check out my one day seminar Humor, Improv and Attraction available at the LoveSystems website.
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The History of Big Business: Dating Coach Extraordinaire! (pt 2) is a post from Big Business
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