I usually give people one or two suggestions on how to better improvise while talking to women. I find that there’s something to material derived from immediate content that has an energy all it’s own. In the interest of furthering this idea, I present to you all some stuff I’ve come up with on the fly.
(In Sydney, Australia. Talking to an Asian lawyer)
Girl: What, are you trying to sideswipe this conversation?!
BB: Did you just say “sideswipe?”
BB: Oh. That clearly means something different here in Australia than in America (fyi sideswipe doesn’t mean anything special in America. Everything below is total BS)
Girl: What does it mean in America?
(Shit. Now I have to make up what “sideswiping” means in America)
BB: It’ s a little dirty.
Girl: I’m a big girl.
BB: Okay, well, sideswiping is when you are spooning with a girl and she’s already told you she doesn’t want to have sex with you, so while you are spooning with her you try and slide your junk into her from between her legs.
(The Asian Lawyer laughs)
(In New York, talking to a chesty, twenty year old singer)
Girl: My uncle just shacked up with a girl my age.
BB: I’m hoping to be like that when I’m old. When we’re fifty I’m totally gonna cheat on you with a bunch of 18 year old girls, in addition to sleeping with all your friends.
Girl: Fine! Then I’m gonna cheat on you with 18 year old boys!
BB: Girls. You’re gonna cheat on me with 18 year old girls, and I’m totally fine with that.
Girl: No! Boys! I’m gonna sleep with 18 year old boys!
BB: You keep saying “boys” when you mean “girls.” It’s very confusing, because I know we both like sleeping with 18 year old girls a lot, and how we’re gonna share an 18 year old girl tonight.
(Chesty singer laugh)
Check back for more awesome improvised shit!