For those of you guys who read the Radar article (or were present at the bootcamp), here is a breakdown of the set I did at the very end of the night. I’ll call this girl “Radar” in honor of the article.
It was 2am and I had to get up early to do a day game 1 on 1 at 10am, so I did a lap to say goodbye to all the students and close my bar tab. Savoy was by the bar with a student, so I swung by to tell them I was taking off, when I caught a brunette in a black evening dress out of the corner of my eye. I was on my way out the door, so there was no time or interest in playing safe ground game.
BB: I have to leave, like, right now, but you’re fucking gorgeous.
(Radar does a double take.)
Radar: You have to leave right now?
BB: I can stay and flirt with you for a few minutes.
Going direct has a few benefits. Besides saving you time, you also get points for showing how big your balls are (not literally of course. Men, do not open women by showing them your actual balls).
Think of seduction like progressing down a football field. If you play safe ground game, you advance five yards at a time, and run down the clock. If you kind of want to go to sleep, but you’d stay up if you knew you were getting laid, you throw the Hail-Mary and make 30 yard progress with each play.
The game is not over, however. Not by a long shot. She only had a little bit of time to test me for congruence, so her shit tests were heavy. She wanted to see if I would flinch. Luckily, I did not.
BB: What’re you doing here tonight?
Radar: Had a few drinks with some German guys from my job. They were boring.
BB: I was drinking with German girls all night. We should introduce them. They can have efficient, German babies.
Radar: (laughs) You’re funny!
BB: Thanks. You’re fun.
Radar: Don’t you think I’m funny too?
BB: We’ll see. I’ve got very high standards. Right now I’m giving you a B-, which is mainly just for effort.
Radar: That’s so mean! (shit test)
BB: That was kind of funny. I’m raising your grade to a B. Good job!
Radar: You need to make it up to me.
BB: How so?
Radar: Buy me a drink?
BB: Okay, but I’ve got to leave soon. This will be a goodbye present.
This was a constant theme in the interaction. “I am going to leave if you do not make me stay.”
Radar: I usually get hit on by accountants. You’re much more fun.
BB: I’m a writer. We’re just generally fun people.
(I gave her my card at this point. She drops it on the ground. Another shit test begins…)
BB: If you leave that there, some girl is gonna come pick it up and stalk me. I’ve been getting hit on all night.
Radar: I don’t see them.
BB: They’re wearing camouflage.
Radar: I can’t see them.
BB: That’s the point of camouflage. That plant over there? Not a plant. Keep an eye on it and it’ll move.
Radar: Like in the cartoons!
(Shit test passed.)
The entire time this interaction has been going on, I’ve been steadily making my way up the physical escalation ladder. The key to building sexual tension without dissipating it is to only touch women where they don’t expect but want to be touched. Little touches on the waist, arms, and neck are what get you yards in this game. Then, once you are within 3 yards of the end zone, you hang out there and make her pull the trigger. If you play it right, they should take the ball and run it into the end zone for you.
(There is a right and a wrong way to do this. You have to hang out at 3rd and goal because you want to, and not because you are scared to make a play. There is a difference.)
Radar: I just moved here from the most boring city. New York is the best.
BB: Know what we’re gonna do on Tuesday? We’re gonna get a drink and talk about how much better NYC is than other cities, and also tell each other how cool and pretty we are.
Radar: You’re smooth. I like guys who are nice and interesting.
BB: We’re not gonna get along. I’m a pretty serious racist.
Radar: I’m also looking for a guy who wants a relationship.
BB: That reminds me…do you want to be my ninth girlfriend? I’ve got nine girlfriends right now. They all have special skills. One cooks, one drives, one does laundry. What’s your special skill?
Radar: I can’t tell you about it, but I can show you later.
BB: I’ve got two that can do that already. How are you with nunchuks?
I finished my drink and took out an ice cube from the glass and started trailing it over her arms and chest. She started rubbing up against me and put her face within an inch of mine, essentially asking me to make out with her. But I didn’t. Know why? Because WE DO NOT MAKE OUT WITH WOMEN IN BARS!
BB: Let’s get out of here.
Radar: Let’s get another drink.
BB: You have another one. I’ve got to get out of here. But I’ve got your number. I’ll call you.
Radar makes a pouty face. Starts to dance a little to the song that playing. I put my hands in her pockets and pull her close to me. She tries to make out with me again. I kiss her a little, then pull away.
BB: Let’s get out of here. I’m gonna put you in a cab so that you get home safe.
Without letting her answer, I grab her purse and put her arm in mine. Once we are outside, I start hailing cabs and she starts trying to make out with me every five steps that we walk.
We cab it back to her place. Good times.
Funny story: I have to take a cab back to the bar to pick up my car afterwards. Ridiculous.