From Boring to Sexy to Funny
Yoooo,
Though I’ve been insanely busy reading and rereading all of Kanye West’s tweets 
I did manage to write an article for the LSI a few weeks ago, that I am reposting for you to enjoy here. (For those of you who aren’t on it, the LSI is an awesome resource for free dating info.)
Also, I would be remiss if I did not mention my awesome Humor, Improv and Attraction seminar coming up in NYC this August 21st! Reserve a spot before we fill all up!
From Boring to Funny to Sexy
Hey gang. Big Biz here.
When I first moved to New York City, I used to read all the time about how women wanted a guy with a good sense of humor. It was in every magazine, every talk show…even my female friends would tell me the exact same thing. Even the Magic Bullets Handbook said so, and Magic Bullets is well-known for contradicting conventional wisdom (and being right).
You’d think that a professional comedian such as myself would have no problem with women then, right? Wrong. After years of dating disappointments I signed up for my Love Systems Bootcamp and got to work building my life the right way.
I noticed instantly some things that I was already doing right (thanks to my improv and standup training), but some other things that I had WAY wrong. I want to talk to you guys about one of those things right now.
Going from funny to sexy. Why is it that so many really funny comedians have so much trouble hooking up with high quality women? How to you go from being the funny guy to the guy she wants to take home?
The answer is to use humor to mask your sexual intent. That means bringing up the topic of sex, but in a funny way.
Advantages to Sexual Framing
You should always be looking for opportunities to bring up the topic of sex with a woman that you are interested in, even though it can be hard to find a way to make it not creepy. When you talk about sex, you subcommunicate that you are someone who is interested in sex, who has had sex before, who is confident about sex. You start to paint the picture that sex is a normal and important part of your life.
You also start to introduce the idea of sex with the woman you’re talking to, which is really important, especially if you want same night lays. She’ll have a hard time putting you in the friend zone if you’ve already brought up the idea of hooking up with her.
Not only that, but if done in the right way, simply talking about sex can be physically exciting to her. It is a huge tool in breaking though levels of intimacy.
So how do we do this without sounding like a total creeper? The answer is above. USE HUMOR!
One of the things I’ve noticed from having done hundreds of approaches is that you can get away with a lot if you are funny. If you’ve read any of my “On The Fly” articles, you’ll see exactly how much you can get away when you are joking around with a woman. Knowing this, you should always start your sexual framing in a way that’s funny.
Two Techniques for Funny Sexual Framing
There are literally hundreds of ways to work sex into conversation, but for the moment I’ll hit you with two that are super easy.
The first is to hide it in a role play. A role play is putting you and the woman in a fake scenario that she can play along with. For example, pretending that you are breaking up even though you just met:
“I’m totally breaking up with you. I’ll come over tomorrow to get my CD’s and for the breakup sex.”
You can even pretend that you’ve been married and add all sorts of crazy fake details:
“That’s it! You and I are getting a divorce. Just as well. You could never handle me in bed anyways.”
Once you have the fake scenario out there, you’ve got free reign over the kind of material you can make up. Why not make up something sexual?
The second technique has to do with one of my Disqualification types. In my Humor, Improv and Attraction seminar I go deep into Disqualification and go over the 10 different types. One of those types is called Raising Your Value, in which you boast about your positive qualities. You talk about how attractive you are, how cool you are, and most importantly, how sure you are that the woman you are talking to you is attracted to you:
“You’re such a sexual predator. I can feel you undressing me with your eyes right now!”
or
“I’d appreciate it if you’d get your mind out of the gutter. I know it’s hard because I’m so hot, but just do your best and think unsexy thoughts.”
In both of the above techniques, even though it’s just a joke, it still breaks through those same levels of intimacy. It has the same effect, even though it’s just a joke!
The above tools are a good place to start, but it really is just the tip of the iceberg. Using some of the other techniques I teach in Humor, Improv and Attraction, you can jump off comments like those into some super charged sexual framing!
For example, did you know that these sexual jokes are a perfect opportunity to escalate physically? Just throw it into the joke! Why not have the fake breakup conversation with her sitting on your lap? Why not give her a friendly hug then accuse her of copping a feel? The possibilities are limitless if you’re looking in the right places.
Of course they have to be in on the joke for this to work, so make sure you get on the same page with them as soon as possible.
On my blog (www.Bigbiznss.com) I go into a few comedy concepts that can help you be funnier with women, like heightening and building the world. Those tools are exactly what these kinds of sexual jokes need, so if you haven’t checked it out, make sure you give it a read ASAP. Good luck!
I’ll be at Vercetti’s Beyond Words Seminar in NYC
Fellow LS instructor Vercetti is bringing his hugely popular one day seminar “Beyond Words – Body Language” to NYC this Sunday at 5pm. He’s asked me to give a short talk, which will probably have to do with my favorite subject: Sexually Framing Conversations (see the most recent LSI for a teaser).
Humor, Improv and Attraction up in NYC!
Heads up, gang! My Humor, Improv and Attraction seminar is going up again in NYC on Saturday, August 21st. This will most likely be the last one until after the Super Conference, so make sure and reserve your spot today!
Want to hear what other people have said about the seminar? Check out a review here!
HIA almost sold out in Chicago!
Hey gang,
Super excited about going to Chicago this weekend. I did one of my first Humor, Improv and Attraction seminars there and it is one of my favorite cities to meet ladies. I’ll be there this Saturday, June 12th for HIA. I just checked the boards, though, and it is almost sold out! Hit this shit up quick before we run out of seats.
BB
Thoughts on the Global Pick Up Conference NYC
Hey gang,
Just got back from giving a talk at the Global Pick Up Conference in NYC. Hosted by Speer, Psych and a few other gentlemen, it was a collection of some of the best in the business. I was very impressed by the time and effort put into the conference. There was a well paced schedule, giving each speaker time for a long presentation and also a Q&A, which I loved. There was also a ton of talent on the schedule. I’m super glad I was able to participate.
The experience led me to having 4 thoughts, which is 2 over my daily limit, but what the hell.
First, I presented the section from my Humor, Improv and Attraction seminar about using humor to sexually frame your conversations, during which I always tell a few stories and give some examples. The expressions on the dudes faces were priceless. A combination of laughter and shock. At least 10 guys came up to me after asking “Did you really say that?!?”
Which brings me to THOUGHT NUMBER 1: There are still a ton of guys out there playing it way too safe. I could go into the litany of reasons why you need to push your boundaries and skate on the razor’s edge of appropriate behavior when talking to women, but in short know this: if you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten. Read lay reports and try to work in some of the material when you go out yourself. See what happens.
Also, during the Q&A section I was kind of shocked by the types of questions I was getting. I’m always blown away by people who got started on fixing their dating life without taking a LS bootcamp. The motivation it must take to do the research on the material and the balls it must take to do approaches without actual instructors backing you is just mind boggling. It was obvious, though, by the questions I was getting, that there were HUGE holes in their knowledge. There was stuff we cover on day 1 in an LS bootcamp that would have answered these guys’ questions instantly. It was another reminder of how incredible the quality of our education program is.
Which brings me to THOUGHT NUMBER 2: Take a LoveSystems bootcamp ESPECIALLY if you have no other experience in the dating science. It doesn’t matter with whom. I’m not trying to make any money here (unless of course you want to take Humor, Improv and Attraction in Chicago June 12th 
) but the more time I spend with guys who haven’t the more I realize how much valuable information they are missing out on. I’m not hating on other schools out there. I’m sure they have excellent and immersive programs as well. Programs that will also fill in the gaps. I can’t speak for their quality, though, as I haven’t sat through them or spent as much time in the field with their instructors. I’ve worked with everyone on the LoveSystems team and sat through all of their seminars, and I can safely recommend them without a seconds hesitation.
I have always been of the opinion that all you really need to get good with women is practice in the field, but for those of you who are confused I still cannot recommend any product higher than an LS bootcamp.
And lastly, I was approached by an old student at the conference. He had taken his bootcamp with Future and I back in February and had a book full of questions for me. He was definitely being way too hard on himself and wasn’t giving himself any credit for his successes. Funnily enough, he also wasn’t pushing his boundaries, which tells me right away that not only is he over thinking, but he’s not even over thinking in the right areas.
Which brings me to THOUGHTS NUMBERS 3&4: relax and escalate. Give yourself a break. This stuff is hard to learn. You gain nothing by putting so much importance on it that you can’t even function. And ESCALATE! Why beat yourself up about not making progress when you’re not even testing the waters for how well you’re doing? How can you tell that you’re not getting into comfort if you’re not asking heavy qualification questions? How do you know that you’re not SNL ready if you’re not trying to bounce girls? Never forget your good old Uncle A.B.E: Always Be Escalating.
Like this blog post? Hate it? Have a question you need to get answered? Help me make this blog better by leaving a comment or sending me an email.
-BB
I’m speaking at the Global Pick Up Conference!
Hey gang,
Just a heads up that the Global Pick Up Conference is coming to NYC and I’ll be one of the featured speakers. Come on down and check it out!
Humor, Improv and Attraction coming to Chicago on June 12th!
What’s up, bitches?!
WHOOOO! Good lord, what a month! I’m working like an ugly stripper over here, getting things ready for the summer. The immediately pain in the ass is packing up all my shit to move into my new apartment tomorrow. That plus maintaining my stand up career, chillin with ladies, figuring out which bootcamps I’m going to work, and most importantly, getting things ready for Humor, Improv and Attraction in Chicago means I’ve got about 2 free seconds to sleep every day.
Which reminds me: Sign up for Humor, Improv and Attraction today before all the spots fill up. I’ll be in Chicago on June 12th, just in time to enjoy Chicago’s 20 seconds of nice weather
On the fly – Episode 3: Shocker DQ
Before I get started with this “On The Fly,” I need to define something for you guys.
In my Humor, Improv and Attraction seminar I go over ten themes for disqualification. I find it a lot easier for students to come up with their own material on the fly using these different themes and sitting down with them and workshopping their own ideas. One of the themes I go into great detail on is what I call the Shocker disqualifier.
Shocker disqualifiers are dangerous, but because they are dangerous they are incredibly effective. When you use a Shocker disqualifier you are hanging out on the razor’s edge of what is socially appropriate. You are saying things that could be perceived as racist, sexist, insane…just generally offensive for a host of reasons.
There are a few reasons why they work. First, they put the conversation in jeopardy for your own amusement. You are giving the girl an excuse to walk away strictly because you think it is funny to make jokes about having sex with 5 year olds. What kind of a guy does this? Maybe one who has so many beautiful women in his life that he doesn’t have to worry how this one interaction goes? That’s preselection.
Also, in a weird way, using Shocker disqualifiers actually shows that you are socially calibrated, because you are showing that you are aware there are these social conventions that say you shouldn’t make fun of the holocaust with total strangers, but that you are deciding to ignore it because it is more fun.
To that end, here is something I came up with on the fly last night on Braddock’s NYC bootcamp that is perfect Shocker disqualifier.
BB: I’m gonna break your heart into a million pieces. You should run away from me.
Girl: No, I’m gonna break your heart.
BB: The only way you can break my heart is to give me insane sex, five or six times a night, invite other girls over to have sex with us, invite Korean figure skater Kim Yu-Na over to have sex with us, and then after, you’ve been riding me like I’ve never been ridden before for three months, be totally fine with me never calling you again. That would seriously break my heart.
Girl: (laughs) How many girls have you slept with?
BB: At first I didn’t want to tell you because I wasn’t sure you could count that high, but then I realized you might be Asian.
Girl: I’m Chinese.
BB: It was either that or black.
Girl: (laughs) No, seriously, how many girls have you slept with?
BB: A million.
Girl: So you are just like one walking STD.
BB: Just AIDS, but actually the more women you sleep with the less AIDS you have, so I probably have just one AID right now. You’re totally safe.
Then I wrote on her arm “Property of Big Business.”
Hope you enjoyed this guys!
Was this post helpful? Anything you’d like to see more/less of? Leave a comment, or hit me up via email! -BB
Question from student: Sexless dates…
An old student of mine recently emailed me a question concerning date logistics. I’m reposting my response here (plus some extras) for your education and enjoyment.
My question is, what do you do if you know that on a day 2 it would be logistically impossible to close? I’m familiar with the ideal date scenario, but what if it can’t take that course? Let’s say you only have a couple of hours one afternoon to get the date in, what’s the right way to do it? Is it still worth having? Since there’s no real direction towards which the date leads, what kind of date should you set up?
First of all, there is never any situation in which it is totally 100% impossible to close. I just recently had a date that started far from my apartment only 10 hours before I had to be on a flight to LA and 8 hours before the girl had to be up for a class…and it ended with sex.
At LoveSystems we teach an ideal date scenario designed to make the process of getting to sex as easy as possible, but it shouldn’t be looked at as a “DO IT OR FAIL!” situation. Better to actually meet up with the girl and see what happens. Sometimes you will be surprised with what you can make work in the moment if you just trust your instincts. That’s the spirit of improv and it is where a lot of my best closes have come from.
Is the date still worth having? Well, that’s up to you. What do you want to accomplish? If you are trying to live your life only meeting up with women so that sex can happen in the quickest possible amount of time? Well, then this might not be worth your effort. However, maybe you are looking for a girlfriend, or want to practice your attraction and comfort material, or simply want to get more comfortable interacting with women, or want to figure out new ways to physically escalate, or want to build your social circle, or want to work on pattern building and using genres (techniques I teach in my Humor, Improv and Attraction seminar) <—-shameless plug 
In all of these situations and more the date is totally worth it.
Assuming you can’t have the date at night and it can’t include multiple venues or alcohol, I would still try to make the meet up at a restaurant where you can sit at the bar so that touching is easier. You can make a lot of process with a girl in this situation even if sex doesn’t happen at the end of the date. Often times it can make sex easier the next time you see them.
It’s important not to be too dogmatic about your dating life. If a girl asks you out in her first text back to you, don’t shoot her down just because you were taught not to bring up the date till the third text! More important than memorizing rules is attacking pickup with a spirit of experimentation. Experimenting is not only fun, but it’s the best way to find the techniques that fit best into your life and personality.
On a side note, those situations where things couldn’t possibly work in your favor tend the make the best stories, whether they work out or not
Humor seminar update…
Chicago was an enormous success, despite the storm trying to fuck me in the ass (Fuck you, storm! Big Business doesn’t get fucked in the ass, he fucks in the ass! You’ve been dominated, now crawl home to your Mom and tell her you are a woman now).
I’ll be posting a little novella about my Chicago adventure, but in the meantime, why don’t you do yourself a favor and sign up for my humor seminar in LA this Saturday? You’ll be doing yourself and all your wings a favor…
