“How do I get girls to chase ME?”

Friends,

I think it would be acceptable to describe LoveSystems as a company that is dedicated to teaching men how to get women.  I have personally been involved in hundreds of programs teaching thousands of men this very thing.

But for some men that’s not enough.  For some men the very idea of expending EFFORT to get a woman is beyond the point.  “Who wants to work for it?”  I couldn’t agree more.  I’m way to lazy to try and go out and get laid every…single…time…I want to have sex.  Also, I’ve got other shit to do.  Who has that many hours to spend just hooking up?

It is from here that I bring you a question directly from The Lounge (LoveSystems’ members only message board)

Hi

Many times when I take girls and text them they respond well. But the thing is that I always need to open the conversation, I dont care doing it the first times, but I know girls for a few months that never start texting me but when I text them first they get really social and never flakes.

What am I’m doing wrong?

Quick answer: nothing.  This is just part of male/female dynamics. Men are the chasers. Men are the aggressors. Part of this is a woman’s desire to be chased, and part of it is a woman being attracted to the kind of guy who goes after what he wants.

Part of being masculine is having the attitude of “See. Want. Get.” This doesn’t mean go all cavemen and just started grabbing women off the street, but having the attitude of the pursuer is an attractive quality.

I understand the desire to have women chasing you and blowing up your phone without you doing any work, but that comes W ITH a little work. If you get your identity in check and start in the position of the pursuer, then back off a little sometimes they start coming after you.

Part of it is also adopting the attitude of someone who has women chasing him. Framing your stories with things like “this girl I met a few months ago texted me out of nowhere” or “My first girlfriend asked ME out. Some girls think that’s weird, but I love it when women put out that kind of effort” will make it seem like getting chased is something that you’re used to.

And finally, part of this comes from having an abundance.  You’ll find that the more quality numbers you get, the more dates you’ll go on, and the less time you’ll have available for the women who want to see you.  They sense that lack of desperation, that lack of availability, and they start putting in effort for your attention.

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Super Conference 2011

Hey yall,

Extremely busy here in NYC.  Doing standup, dating ladies, and leading my own bootcamps (whooo!).  Not a ton of time for blogging :(

HOWEVER!  I did want to drop a line to let you know I’ve ALREADY started working on my talk for the Superconference in Vegas this year.  Last year I got voted best presenter for the entire conference, so I want to make sure I do my best to hold the title 😉

The title of the talk is “3 Sets from Start to Finish” and it will be just that: going over everything that happened from meet to sex with 3 distinct women.

Guys, it’s gonna be a sick talk.  I can tell already.  Bring head-diapers, because I’ m gonna make your brains shit.

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“She’s Out of Your League” (the movie)

Those of you who frequent this blog know I have a special place in my heart for the nonsense that is seduction as portrayed by Hollywood. All those guys in the PG-13 movies who were shy and awkward yet managed to land the hottest girl in school by the end of the movie are largely to blame for my misconceptions about sex and dating growing up. Maybe you are a beautiful nerd-flower who just needs someone to take the time to get to know you, but there’s a reason why the stereotypical cheerleader dates the stereotypical jock.Attraction doesn’t work the way that Hollywood says it does. Period.

So here we have She’s Out of Your League, a feel good rom-com about a nerdy TSA agent who manages to get a 10 to fall in love with him…by doing NOTHING!  Nothing is done by this guy in the way of building rapport or value or even just normal conversation, and STILL the super hot one wants to get on him.  NONSENSE, I SAY!

I’ve got no problem with a supposed 5 getting a supposed 10, but the way it happened in the movie NEVER happens in real life.  It is explained away in the movie that the 10 was tired of getting hurt by jerks so she wanted to give the 5 a try, but that’s not how hot women really operate.  If they want a non-jerk, they get a hot non-jerk with some value.

I do appreciate one element of the movie, though.  The inner game element.  One of the big fights that this “couple” has is over the guy thinking he’s not qualified to be dating the girl (and he’s right), which le ads to the girl going into a monologue about how his own nonsense is the only thing ruining their relationship.

Here’s the interesting thing: that happens a lot in real life.  One of the inner game issues that tons of guys deal with is feelings of worthiness.  This comes up a lot with guys who take our seminar, then suddenly find themselves dating women far out of their league and ruining it on purpose.  It’s like you suddenly find yourself at the controls of a SR71 BlackBird and you have no idea how to fly, so you just go ahead and let it crash.

Never wig out because a woman likes you.  There is no out of your league.   The weird thing would be if hot women WEREN’T into you.

Long story short: If you watch this movie, know that this isn’t how guys get hot girls.

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How to Lose Your Virginity…

I recently picked up an interesting collection of non-fiction stories called “How to Lose Your Virginity.” It is a book comprised of real stories from men and women about their first time having sex.

As I read it I couldn’t help but think how many people would benefit from the information collected in this book. I think it is extremely hard when you are growing up a virgin (or are still a virgin) to have a really good idea of what goes on in other people’ s mind s concerning sex. I know that for a long time I had that misconception about women not really enjoying sex, and it made dating and sex extremely difficult for me.  The people in this book come from all walks of life and run the sexual gamut, from women and men who treat their first time like precious stones, protecting it at all costs, to those who just want to get rid of it as quickly as possible.

Moreover, it is extremely important that we recognize how many different sexual philosophies there are out there, either based on how we were raised or our own individual experiences or the random combinations of protein that make up our individual DNA.  With that in mind, you can already take one lesson away from this book: that you can never totally know what to expect when dealing with another person.  Instead of trying to plan out the perfect set, you need to approach game like a basketball player approaches practice.  You drill the basics, but since you can never know what’s going to happen in any specific game, you roll with the punches and deal with each player moment to moment.

Because of this, and other lessons hidden in between the lines of each person’s unique stories, I highly recommend this book to anyone, be they virgins or non.  Not only can it be extremely helpful to your game, but also, I found it immensely entertaining.  Hilarious at moments.  Poignant and heartfelt at others.   Enjoy!

(Pick up your copy of “How to Lose Your Virginity” here)

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The number of women I’ve slept with.

Warning – this is an inner game rant

What’s up, kids?

I was recently doing some personalized 1-1 training here in beautiful NYC when my student asked me how many women I’d slept with (I’m actually doing him a favor by not saying exactly HOW he asked me, because he asked me in the most juvenile and retarded way possible).  I get asked this question way too much, and so now, inspired by the sheer immaturity of the WAY in which my student asked me, here is my official answer:

Why is knowing my number important to yo u?  What difference does my number have on you learning how to get women?  Will knowing my number give you a deeper understanding of Qualification?  “73?  OH!  Compliment them on something BESIDES their looks!  I get it now!”

Will my number give you something to aspire to?  Will it be your benchmark to let you know when you’ve officially got skills?  “Only 53?  Sorry, buddy, but you only have game once you’ve reached 60.”

Knowing my number isn’t important.  In fact, I’m gonna go one step farther and say that asking about my number isn’t just a waste of time, it is also damaging.  It says to me that you are judging success by outside standards, that you are trying to validate your sex life by comparing it to mine.

Define your own success.  Don’t try and sleep with tons of women because you think that’s what being a man is, or what being happy is.  If you want to find that one special girl and go long term with her, go for it.  If you want to sleep with hundreds of women, then go ahead and sleep with hundreds of women, but do it for you.  Don’t do it so you can show people the notches on your belt.

At LoveSystems, we are about teaching men how to have a successful dating/sex life.  For some that means getting into a long term relationship, and for others it means racking up a high number.  But whatever your definition of success is, it should be what YOU WANT.

One of my favorite things about working for LS is how diverse the teaching staff is, and how each one of us has his own definition of success.  Some guys that work for LS love strippers.  Love sleeping with them.  Love dating them.  Theses guys constantly invite me to strip clubs after bootcamp to see if we can “game the strippers.”  I always respond the same way:  “Why would I want that?  I don’t think strippers are hot.  I don’t like fake boobs, glitter or daddy-issues.”

Should I try to sleep with a stripper just so I can tell other guys that I did it and they can validate me with THEIR definition of success?  UGH!  Gross!  Just thinking about it makes me tired/want to take 100 showers.

Moreover, there are guys out there who only sleep with women so they can have a higher number than other guys, so they ask about my number so see if they’ve beaten me.  Is that what being high value means?  Is that Alpha?  Does that really sound satisfying to you?

It does?!  Well then, Merry Christmas my man!  Go ahead and take your victory lap.  I give you permission to tell everyone you know that you’ve slept with more women than me, Big Business, a professional dating coach.  However many women you’ve slept with, you can say Big Business slept with one less.  Or five less.  Or ten less.  You can tell people I’ve slept with one woman, or no women.

Tell people I’m a virgin.  I don’t care.  I don’t care because having a high number isn’t success to me.

What is success to Big Business?  I want to be an amazing comedian.  I want to make people laugh with my material.  I want to have my writing published and/or produced.  I want to never have to worry about money.  And oh yeah…I want to have sex 500,000 times, but I don’t care if I do it all with one girl or fifty.

It doesn’t matter what my history is.  The only thing that matters is where you’re at, where you want to be, and how we’re gonna get you there.

But if you just want to compare dick sizes, I’ll save you the trouble.  It’s medium.

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Another 20 minute pull…

Was out with the navy seal team this weekend when I saw a girl with nice eyes.

BB:  Nice eyes.

Girl:  What?

It was loud, so I made an “I like your eyes” hand gesture, and she thought it was funny, so it was on.

We chatted for a little bit.  I did a little Raise my Value style DQ where I talked about how hot my abs were since I’d been working out “like, twice a month.  For reals,” then put her hand on them to check them out.  She was into it, so I pressed onwards.

BB:  Let’s check out yours.

I put my hands on her abs.  Physical escalation starts.

BB:  I like your style, but my shirt is cooler than yours.  (More Raise my Value style DQ)

She pulled down the zipper on my sweater to check out my shirt.

BB:  Whoa!  If we were in the office, that would be totally inappropriate.  I said to check out my shirt, not make me uncomfortable.  How would you like it if I just yanked down your dress?

She laughed, then thrust her chest out, as if to say “go ahead and inspect me.”

When a girl does this sort of thing, ie jump rungs on the sexuality progression ladder, most guys try to leap frog right into the make out, which I am generally against.  Most of the time this is just a test.  A guy who isn’t used to having breasts thrust in front of him will react like a kid on Christmas and wig the F-out.  For a high value guy, this is just another day at the races.

I gave the top of her dress a little tug, checked out her rack, then put it back.

BB:  I feel dirty.  I’ve got to go to confession in the morning now.

She laughed.

Considering the level of physical intimacy she was letting me get away with, I deduced that I had enough attraction that the logistics of her friends wouldn’t be an issue.  She told me where she lived, which is a clear indication that she wanted to hook up tonight.  Now all I had to do was find a way to tell her we should get out of there.

BB:  I should let you know that I’m fine with handling boobs in the club, but I only hold vagina when I get into a cab.

While she had been laughing at all my Ridiculous Comments style DQ, this one she didn’t seem to c are for, and pulled back a little.

Girl:  Not interested in you touching my vagina.  We’re just gonna be friends.

As with any test, the most important thing is to not get shook.  You can recover from most anything so long as you remain non-reactive.

BB:  That’s cool.  I should let you know, though, that one of the rules for being my friend is I get full vagina access.  And it’s a two way street.  I’m not gonna be stingy with my genitals.  I’m not selfish like that.

She laughed again.  Game back on.

I had locked in against a chair, and the physical escalation had gotten intense.  At one point we were comparing our boob sizes (hers were way bigger), and pressing our chests together to make “giant mega boobs.”  And yes, there was motor-boating.

Girl:  Let’s get another drink.

BB:  I’ll be totally useless if I get another drink.  I won’t be able to fool around with you in a cab if I do.

Girl:  Who says we’re gonna fool around in the cab?

BB:  Well, I’m not gonna make out with you here.  I’m a good Christian boy.  Though I should tell you that boobs are my weakness.  I’ll do whatever you say so long as you put your boobs on me.  I’ll even paint your house.

She then puts her boobs on me.

Girl:  Can’t we get one more drink?

BB:  I’ve got a better idea.  Let’s go get our jackets and get out of here.

I grabbed her hand and led her to the coat check.

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Quick thoughts on this weekend…

Friday night was my first night out in a long time with my navy seal team, which I’ve decided to name “Club Mayhem” because I’m retarded. It was an incredibly fun night, though I drank a bit more than I’d planned to and stayed out WAAAAAAYYY later than I wanted to. Also made a successful return to one of my favorite spots that ended with me spending a few hours with a gorgeous new friend. Some people in Club Mayhem don’t like said spot, to which I respond, as said by Kanye West, “Screams from the haters. Got a nice ring to it. I guess every superhero needs his theme music.”

Unfortunately for you guys I don’t remember all that much that was said throughout the evening, but here is a fun bit I had with one of my sets…

Girl: Your last name sounds Jewish.
BB: It is.
Girl: You don’ t look Jewish.
BB: Just my genitals.
Girl: (laughs) So I guess that means you’re circumcised?
BB: No. It means my dick wears a yarmulke.  And payos.

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Big News from Big Business…

Howdy gang!

Many apologies for the radio silence.  A lot’s been going on in the world for BB.

As I’m sure some of you may know, all the LS blogs were down for a good month-ish, and a lot of content was lost.  That, plus the Super Conference in Las Vegas, the holidays, my st andup career, and dating ladies all meant I had precious little time to actually write about my exciting adventures and developments.

FOR EXAMPLE: You are now reading an official blog from a LoveSystems Master Instructor! That’s right, son!  I was promoted after this past Super Conference, and will now be leading bootcamps around the east coast, in addition to the occasional Humor, Improv and Attraction seminar. 

ALSO: I was voted BEST (mother fucking) PRESENTER at the 2010 LoveSystems Super Conference for my talk on Humor and Sexual Framing.  It was a fucking blast.  I had people coming up to me for the rest of the weekend telling me how much they liked the talk.   I’m pretty proud of it.  It was a lot of information that I teach in my Humor, Improv and Attraction seminar, plus some stories that I usually leave out for propriety’s sake.  I’ ll probably be revisiting it next year, so make sure you reserve your spot for 2011 ASAP.

AND IN ADDITION: I’ve also been making some headway in my career as a standup.  I’ve been performing steadily, about 5-8 times a week, and now that the holidays are over I’ll be able to devote a lot more time to writing material.  I’ll be sure and hit you guys up once I’m ready for Comedy Central 😉

While it’s true I haven’t had time to post, that doesn’t mean I haven’t been thinking about shit to write about.  I’ve got a backlog of potential blog material, so make sure you keep checking in for all the awesome updates.

Here’s to killing it in 2011!

-BB

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“On the fly” – Episode 1

I usually give people one or two suggestions on how to better improvise while talking to women. I find that there’s something to material derived from immediate content that has an energy all it’s own. In the interest of furthering this idea, I present to you all some stuff I’ve come up with on the fly.

(In Sydney, Australia. Talking to an Asian lawyer)

Girl: What, are you trying to sideswipe this conversation?!

BB: Did you just say “sideswipe?”

Girl: Yeah.

BB: Oh. That clearly means something different here in Australia than in America (fyi sideswipe doesn’t mean anything special in America. Everything below is total BS)

Girl: What does it mean in America?

(Shit. Now I have to make up what “sideswiping” means in America)

BB: It’ s a little dirty.

Girl: I’m a big girl.

BB: Okay, well, sideswiping is when you are spooning with a girl and she’s already told you she doesn’t want to have sex with you, so while you are spooning with her you try and slide your junk into her from between her legs.

(The Asian Lawyer laughs)

(In New York, talking to a chesty, twenty year old singer)

Girl: My uncle just shacked up with a girl my age.

BB: I’m hoping to be like that when I’m old. When we’re fifty I’m totally gonna cheat on you with a bunch of 18 year old girls, in addition to sleeping with all your friends.

Girl: Fine! Then I’m gonna cheat on you with 18 year old boys!

BB: Girls. You’re gonna cheat on me with 18 year old girls, and I’m totally fine with that.

Girl: No! Boys! I’m gonna sleep with 18 year old boys!

BB: You keep saying “boys” when you mean “girls.” It’s very confusing, because I know we both like sleeping with 18 year old girls a lot, and how we’re gonna share an 18 year old girl tonight.

(Chesty singer laugh)

Check back for more awesome improvised shit!

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NYC Bootcamp Ballyhoo!

This weekend was not only another NYC bootcamp with The Don, but also the special one-day seminars of Day Game and Social Circle, which were both super gangster. Braddock and Soul have taken a lot of time (both infield and at the computer) to come up with comprehensive systems for demolishing their respective fields.I highly recommend both these seminars.

But that wasn’t what was so hot about this weekend. What was amazing was having The Don, Braddock, Sphinx and Soul all in town at the exact same time. It was a fucking blast.

The students were great this weekend as well. I was definitely impressed with their progress and positive attitudes. Having fun with this stuff is half the battle. It will make you want to continue going out, and that is 90% of the game right there.

Here are some of the highlights from the weekend:

I’d never met Soul before, but he joined The Don, Braddock and I out for dinner on the first night, and within minutes we were all recounting stories of our incredible and retarded sexual exploits. It was so much fun it should have been illegal. True to form, Soul couldn’t stop from doing street approaches, so Sphinx and I got a few free demonstrations of his Street/Day Game prowess.

The infield on the first night was crazy-party-fun-time. An old friend, Dr.Feelgood, joined us out, which only added to the retarded fun. I picked up a cougar who’s tits I was fondling within 20 minutes. I managed this by keeping insane momentum up from the moment I met her, and jumping a few rungs in the physical escalation ladder. I really only remember how I opened her, though:

BB: Holy shit!
Cougar: What?
BB: You look like my friend Maria. I could have sworn you were her, so I came over to say hello.
Cougar: I’m not.
BB: You’re like her mirror image. You could be her younger sister.
Cougar: (laughs) That is so the right thing to say.
BB: Well, I’m not gonna come over here and tell you that you look like her older, uglier sister. That wouldn’t go over well. “Hey, you look like a fat and disgusting version of another friend of mine. Let me buy you a beer, you wart-covered troll version of my friend.”

At 2am a few of us went to go get pizza with two Australian girls we’d picked up right before bailing. Braddock kept insisting they were Japanese, and that they should go back to China if they didn’t like being in a country with “rules”.

Meanwhile, one of our students didn’t even make it to the venue because he was busy using the skills he’d learned at bootcamp to get laid.

The second night was equally fun and retarded. The Australian girls met us at the bar we were holding the infield at, yet didn’t seem to think it was weird when guys kept coming up to us and asking us how their “sets” went. I saw my dream girl in a 4 set, but before I could even think of an opener, Sphinx, my new least favorite person ;) , jumped on it and bounced her back to his hotel. You better be careful, asshole. I’ve got photos of you that could be…damaging.

Soul, meanwhile, didn’t even show up to the infield until 1am on account of not being able to figure out how the NYC subway systems works, despite having been born and raised in a major metropolitan area. Braddock, the white trash Okla-homo, didn’t have any such trouble not accidentally ending up in Brooklyn.

Meanwhile, another student didn’t make it to the venue because he was busy using the skills he’d learned at bootcamp to get laid as well.

That’s two students getting laid before going to the infield in one weekend, which has to be some kind of record.

After seminar we bounced to another bar for some random chatty. One of our newer instructors taught us all a new opener…

StinkFinger (with heavy Jersey accent): “Hey, look at these fucking broads! What? I don’t even get a fucking thank you?!”

I have yet to see it work infield, but I could just be saying it wrong :)

Braddock entertained us all with his Australian accent, which sounded like an old British man, and was really only one sentence repeated over and over again: “Goddamn it, Braddock! I’ve had it up to here with your shenanigans and ballyhoo!”

I’m giving myself an award for The Most Fucked Up Thing Ever Said In Set. Actually, I’m giving myself both the Silver and Gold medal in this category, with the silver going to my 3 minute speech on what it’s like to go down on the withered and wrinkled vaginas of grandmothers, and the Gold going to the sentence, “I’m so thin, I could put my whole body in your vagina and you probably wouldn’t even feel it. I could throw a party in your womb for a whole weekend, probably.” The girl I said both these sentences to fucking loved it, but do not attempt to repeat. It is for professionals only.

I think the funniest thing said all weekend, though, came after Social Circle and Day Game both got out and we all headed over to a bar for a night cap and some bad decisions. Soul took a sip of Braddock’s beer and was surprised to find that it was a Blue Moon with 3 or 4 orange slices in it.

I guess Soul expected our little Okla-homo to be drinking something a little more red state-y, like Budweiser or Coors Light, because he shouted (with his proper English accent) “Braddock’s drinking a beer with OJ in it?! Where’s your usual mongoloid beverage?”

Soul, if you want to not sound hoity toity, you might want to avoid words like “mongoloid.”

4 straight days of teaching, drinking and meetin ladies. Now, that’s a weekend.

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From Boring to Funny to Sexy

Yoooo,

Though I’ve been insanely busy reading and rereading all of Kanye West’s tweets I did manage to write an article for the LSI a few weeks ago, that I am reposting for you to enjoy here. (For those of you who aren’t on it, the LSI is an awesome resource for free dating info.)

Also, I would be remiss if I did not mention my awesome Humor, Improv and Attraction seminar coming up in NYC this August 21st! Reserve a spot before we fill all up!

From Boring to Funny to Sexy

Hey gang. Big Biz here.

When I first moved to New York City, I used to read all the time about how women wanted a guy with a good sense of humor. It was in every magazine, every talk show…even my female friends would tell me the exact same thing. Even the Magic Bullets Handbook said so, and Magic Bullets is well-known for contradicting conventional wisdom (and being right).

You’d think that a professional comedian such as myself would have no problem with women then, right? Wrong. After years of dating disappointments I signed up for my Love Systems Bootcamp and got to work building my life the right way.

I noticed instantly some things that I was already doing right (thanks to my improv and standup training), but some other things that I had WAY wrong. I want to talk to you guys about one of those things right now.

Going from funny to sexy. Why is it that so many really funny comedians have so much trouble hooking up with high quality women? How to you go from being the funny guy to the guy she wants to take home?

The answer is to use humor to mask your sexual intent. That means bringing up the topic of sex, but in a funny way.

Advantages to Sexual Framing

You should always be looking for opportunities to bring up the topic of sex with a woman that you are interested in, even though it can be hard to find a way to make it not creepy. When you talk about sex, you subcommunicate that you are someone who is interested in sex, who has had sex before, who is confident about sex. You start to paint the picture that sex is a normal and important part of your life.

You also start to introduce the idea of sex with the woman you’re talking to, which is really important, especially if you want same night lays. She’ll have a hard time putting you in the friend zone if you’ve already brought up the idea of hooking up with her.

Not only that, but if done in the right way, simply talking about sex can be physically exciting to her. It is a huge tool in breaking though levels of intimacy.

So how do we do this without sounding like a total creeper? The answer is above. USE HUMOR!

One of the things I’ve noticed from having done hundreds of approaches is that you can get away with a lot if you are funny. If you’ve read any of my “On The Fly” articles, you’ll see exactly how much you can get away when you are joking around with a woman. Knowing this, you should always start your sexual framing in a way that’s funny.

Two Techniques for Funny Sexual Framing

There are literally hundreds of ways to work sex into conversation, but for the moment I’ll hit you with two that are super easy.

The first is to hide it in a role play. A role play is putting you and the woman in a fake scenario that she can play along with. For example, pretending that you are breaking up even though you just met:

“I’m totally breaking up with you.  I’ll come over tomorrow to get my CD’s and for the breakup sex.”

You can even pretend that you’ve been married and add all sorts of crazy fake details:

“That’s it! You and I are getting a divorce. Just as well. You could never handle me in bed anyways.”

Once you have the fake scenario out there, you’ve got free reign over the kind of material you can make up. Why not make up something sexual?

The second technique has to do with one of my Disqualification types. In my Humor, Improv and Attraction seminar I go deep into Disqualification and go over the 10 different types. One of those types is called Raising Your Value, in which you boast about your positive qualities. You talk about how attractive you are, how cool you are, and most importantly, how sure you are that the woman you are talking to you is attracted to you:

“You’re such a sexual predator. I can feel you undressing me with your eyes right now!”

or

“I’d appreciate it if you’d get your mind out of the gutter. I know it’s hard because I’m so hot, but just do your best and think unsexy thoughts.”

In both of the above techniques, even though it’s just a joke, it still breaks through those same levels of intimacy. It has the same effect, even though it’s just a joke!

The above tools are a good place to start, but it really is just the tip of the iceberg. Using some of the other techniques I teach in Humor, Improv and Attraction, you can jump off comments like those into some super charged sexual framing!

For example, did you know that these sexual jokes are a perfect opportunity to escalate physically? Just throw it into the joke! Why not have the fake breakup conversation with her sitting on your lap? Why not give her a friendly hug then accuse her of copping a feel ? The possibilities are limitless if you’re looking in the right places.

Of course they have to be in on the joke for this to work, so make sure you get on the same page with them as soon as possible.

On my blog (www.Bigbiznss.com) I go into a few comedy concepts that can help you be funnier with women, like heightening and building the world. Those tools are exactly what these kinds of sexual jokes need, so if you haven’t checked it out, make sure you give it a read ASAP. Good luck!

From Boring to Sexy to Funny is a post from Big Business

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Don’t bail!

When I firs t got involved with Love Systems, I was pretty hung up on specifics. Approach, open, tease, transition, attract, qualify, build comfort, bounce, seduce. This was the only way it was done.

About a month in I went to a bar in New York city with some of my fellow Love Systems students in an attempt to meet women and get better. I headed over to the bar to get a drink and as I did a really cute girl walked up behind me with a distressed look on her face.

“Everything all right?” I asked.

“I just want a water,” she responded.

I grabbed the bartender’s attention. “Becks for me, and a glass of water for her.”

I handed her the drink. She smiled at me and paused at the bar for a moment, waiting for me to continue the conversation. But I didn’t. In my mind, I had already fucked up. “You NEVER open a girl by being nice to her!” I thought. “You’re supposed to ask her an opinion opener, then tease her! Way to totally ruin that whole set, Big Business! You are such an asshole.”

Looking back I realize how wrong it was, but not just because there are other ways to open besides indirect, and not just because the girl was cute and giving me the eye. I was wrong to bail because bailing is not the way to get good.

Your lesson for today: Don’t bail.

Mistakes can be corrected. Hurdles can be overcome. You don’t get better in this game by trying for one perfect set. You get better by hanging in there, like you are at a rodeo.

If you really want to get good, stay in every set you open and see if you can turn it around. You tease a little too hard? See if you can get them back on your side. You qualify too hard before getting attraction? Try demonstrating some value and getting her to qualify you. Been in the set for 20 minutes and you still haven’t touched her? Start touching her and see if you can still escalate.

Every instructor at LS has stories about incredible sets they turned around. Go out there and get some of those stories yourself.

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Thoughts on the Global Pick Up Conference NYC

Hey gang,

Just got back from giving a talk at the Global Pick Up Conference in NYC.Hosted by Speer, Psych and a few other gentlemen, it was a collection of some of the best in the business. I was very impressed by the time and effort put into the conference. There was a well paced schedule, giving each speaker time for a long presentation and also a Q&A, which I loved. There was also a ton of talent on the schedule. I’m super glad I was able to participate.

The experience led me to having 4 thoughts, which is 2 over my daily limit, but what the hell.

First, I presented the section from my Humor, Improv and Attraction seminar about using humor to sexually frame your conversations, during which I always tell a few stories and give some examples. The expressions on the dudes faces were priceless. A combination of laughter and shock. At least 10 guys came up to me after asking “Did you really say that?!?”

Which brings me to THOUGHT NUMBER 1: There are still a ton of guys out there playing it way too safe. I could go into the litany of reasons why you need to push your boundaries and skate on the razor’s edge of appropriate behavior when talking to women, but in short know this: if you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten. Read lay reports and try to work in some of the material when you go out yourself. See what happens.

Also, during the Q&A section I was kind of shocked by the types of questions I was getting. I’m always blown away by people who got started on fixing their dating life without taking a LS bootcamp. The motivation it must take to do the research on the material and the balls it must take to do approaches without actual instructors backing you is just mind boggling. It was obvious, though, by the questions I was getting, that there were HUGE holes in their knowledge. There was stuff we cover on day 1 in an LS bootcamp that would have answered these guys’ questions instantly. It was another reminder of how incredible the quality of our education program is.

Which brings me to THOUGHT NUMBER 2: Take a LoveSystems bootcamp ESPECIALLY if you have no other experience in the dating science. It doesn’t matter with whom. I’m not trying to make any money here (unless of course you want to take Humor, Improv and Attraction in Chicago June 12th :) ) but the more time I spend with guys who haven’t the more I realize how much valuable information they are missing out on. I’m not hating on other schools out there. I’m sure they have excellent and immersive programs as well. Programs that will also fill in the gaps. I can’t speak for their quality, though, as I haven’t sat through them or spent as much time in the field with their instructors. I’ve worked with everyone on the LoveSystems team and sat through all of their seminars, and I can safely recommend them without a seconds hesitation.

I have always been of the opinion that all you really need to get good with women is practice in the field, but for those of you who are confused I still cannot recommend any product higher than an LS bootcamp.

And lastly, I was approached by an old student at the conference. He had taken his bootcamp with Future and I back in February and had a book full of questions for me. He was definitely being way too hard on himself and wasn’t giving himself any credit for his successes. Funnily enough, he also wasn’t pushing his boundaries, which tells me right away that not only is he over thinking, but he’s not even over thinking in the right areas.

Which brings me to THOUGHTS NUMBERS 3&4: relax and escalate. Give yourself a break. This stuff is hard to learn. You gain nothing by putting so much importance on it that you can’t even function. And ESCALATE! Why beat yourself up about not making progress when you’re not even testing the waters for how well you’re doing? How can you tell that you’re not getting into comfort if you’re not asking heavy qualification questions? How do you know that you’re not SNL ready if you’re not trying to bounce girls? Never forget your good old Uncle A.B.E: Always Be Escalating.

Like this blog post? Hate it? Have a question you need to get answered? Help me make this blog better by leaving a comment or sending me an email.

-BB

Thoughts on the Global Pick Up Conference NYC is a post from Big Business

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On the fly – Episode 3: Shocker DQ

Before I get started with this “On The Fly,” I need to define something for you guys.

In my Humor, Improv and Attraction seminar I go over ten themes for disqualification. I find it a lot easier for students to come up with their own material on the fly using these different themes and sitting down with them and workshopping their own ideas. One of the themes I go into great detail on is what I call the Shocker disqualifier.

Shocker disqualifiers are dangerous, but because they are dangerous they are incredibly effective. When you use a Shocker disqualifier you are hanging out on the razor’s edge of what is socially appropriate. You are saying things that could be perceived as racist, sexist, insane…just generally offensive for a host of reasons.

There are a few reasons why they work. First, they put the conversation in jeopardy for your own amusement. You are giving the girl an excuse to walk away strictly because you think it is funny to make jokes about having sex with 5 year olds. What kind of a guy does this? Maybe one who has so many beautiful women in his life that he doesn’t have to worry how this one interaction goes? That’s preselection.

Also, in a weird way, using Shocker disqualifiers actually shows that you are socially calibrated, because you are showing that you are aware there are these social conventions that say you shouldn’t make fun of the holocaust with total strangers, but that you are deciding to ignore it because it is more fun.

To that end, here is something I came up with on the fly last night on Braddock’s NYC bootcamp that is perfect Shocker disqualifier.

BB: I’m gonna break your heart into a million pieces. You should run away from me.

Girl: No, I’m gonna break your heart.

BB: The only way you can break my heart is to give me insane sex, five or six times a night, invite other girls over to have sex with us, invite Korean figure skater Kim Yu-Na over to have sex with us, and then after, you’ve been riding me like I’ve never been ridden before for three months, be totally fine with me never calling you again. That would seriously break my heart.

Girl: (laughs) How many girls have you slept with ?

BB: At first I didn’t want to tell you because I wasn’t sure you could count that high, but then I realized you might be Asian.

Girl: I’m Chinese.

BB: It was either that or black.

Girl: (laughs) No, seriously, how many girls have you slept with?

BB: A million.

Girl: So you are just like one walking STD.

BB: Just AIDS, but actually the more women you sleep with the less AIDS you have, so I probably have just one AID right now. You’re totally safe.

Then I wrote on her arm “Property of Big Business.”

Hope you enjoyed this guys!

Was this post helpful ? Anything you’d like to see more/less of? Leave a comment, or hit me up via email! -BB

On the fly – Episode 3: Shocker DQ is a post from Big Business

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Question from student: Sexless dates

An old student of mine recently emailed me a question concerning date logistics.  I’m reposting my response here (plus some extras) for your education and enjoyment.

My question is, what do you do if you know that on a day 2 it would be logistically impossible to close? I’m familiar with the ideal date scenario, but what if it can’t take that course? Let’s say you only have a couple of hours one afternoon to get the date in, what’s the right way to do it? Is it still worth having? Since there’s no real direction towards which the date leads, what kind of date should you set up?

First of all, there is never any situation in which it is totally 100% impossible to close. I just recently had a date that started far from my apartment only 10 hours before I had to be on a flight to LA and 8 hours before the girl had to be up for a class…and it ended with sex.

At LoveSystems we teach an ideal date scenario designed to make the process of getting to sex as easy as possible, but it shouldn’t be looked at as a “DO IT OR FAIL!” situation. Better to actually meet up with the girl and see what happens. Sometimes you will be surprised with what you can make work in the moment if you just trust your instincts. That’s the spirit of improv and it is where a lot of my best closes have come from.

Is the date still worth having? Well, that’s up to you. What do you want to accomplis h? Are you trying to live your life only meeting up with women so that sex can happen in the quickest possible amount of time? Well, then this might not be worth your effort.

However, maybe you are looking for a girlfriend, or want to practice your attraction and comfort material, or simply want to get more comfortable interacting with women, or want to figure out new ways to physically escalate, or want to build your social circle, or want to work on pattern building and using genres (techniques I teach in my Humor, Improv and Attraction seminar) <—-shameless plug In all of these situations and more the date is totally worth it.

Assuming you can’t have the date at night and it can’t include multiple venues or alcohol, I would still try to make the meet up at a restaurant where you can sit at the bar so that touching is easier. You can make a lot of process with a girl in this situation even if sex doesn’t happen at the end of the date. Often times it can make sex easier the next time you see them.

It’s important not to be too dogmatic about your dating life. If a girl asks you out in her first text back to you, don’t shoot her down just because you were taught not to bring up the date till the third text! More important than memorizing rules is attacking pickup with a spirit of experimentation. Experimenting is not only fun, but it’s the best way to find the techniques that fit best into your life and personality.

On a side note, those situations where things couldn’t possibly work in your favor tend the make the best stories, whether they work out or not

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LSi Article: 3 ways to make women laugh in bars

Here’s an article I recently wrote for the LoveSystems insider to help promote my upcoming Humor seminars. I post it here for your enjoyment and education. Enjoy!

——

When I got started doing pickup, I noticed that making people laugh was an incredibly quick way to get interest from beautiful women. Not only that, but it made dealing with their male and female friends a lot easier.

There are a lot of reasons why this works so well – I’m not going to rehash what you already know from reading the seduction bible Magic Bullets. Just remember that humor makes you an asset to whomever you are talking to because laughter releases chemicals that make people feel good.

Now, a lot of people think that becoming funny isn’t possible. They think that you just have to be born that way. NOT TRUE. As someone who’s been doing stand-up comedy for six years in New York City, I can tell you that I’ve seen a TON of people go from awful to incredible. All it took was the proper instruction and lots and lots of practice.

(They were also willing to make mistakes and learn from their mistakes, which is an incredible skill set to have when meeting women as well, but that’s a whole other story.)

At the moment, I’m currently working on a one day seminar to help guys become funnier when they are talking to women. Right now I’m going to share with you my three favorite ways to make strangers laugh in bars.

Big Business Attraction Humor Secret #1 – Self-Deprecation

The average guy (who hasn’t found Love Systems) tries to make himself look as cool as possible by bragging about his job, his body, and his history.

Doing the opposite – as long as it’s obvious that you’re pretending – is one of the easiest ways to make people laugh. For example:

Just make sure it’s obvious that you’re joking without a lame “just kidding” at the end. Pick things to say that anyone meeting you for the first time would know can’t be true.

Big Business Attraction Humor Secret #2 – Ridiculous Statements

This is somewhat similar to self-deprecation because you’re also saying things that are obviously not true. But instead of being negative, they’re just ridiculous.

They key to using ridiculous statements is to back them up with good specifics. Specifics make something funnier and more “realistic” even if it’s obviously not true. For example:

My favorite thing about ridiculous statements is that sometimes you don’t even have to make them up. If you ever trip over your words or get confused about the details in a story, then that can be the start of a great ridiculous statement. Pretend that the mistake is what you meant to say. Stick with it and see where it goes.

Big Business Attraction Humor Secret #3 – Misinterpretation

This started out as one of my favorite games to play in bars and ended up being a great way to make people laugh. Because bars are so loud, I’d pretend like I misheard people and respond to things they didn’t say…

THEM: “So, where did you grow up?”

BIG BUSINESS: “No, I don’t need another drink. Thanks, though.”

Then I thought, “this would be even funnier if it wasn’t loud at all.” I started mishearing things in quiet bars and it got even better reactions than before, so long as they could tell that I was kidding.

After a while I started misinterpreting everything. Some nights, just for fun, I would decide to interpret everything I heard the exact same way, regardless of what it was…

THEM: “Do you know what time it is?”

BIG BUSINESS: “Wow. Are you really going to hit on me like that without even asking my name?”

Or

THEM: “I grew up in Philadelphia.”

BIG BUSINESS: “Wow. Are you really going to hit on me like that without even asking my name?”

If you’re going to go out and try misinterpretation tonight, make sure you are mishearing them in a way that makes you look good. For example, always assume they are hitting on you, or are asking for your phone number, or trying to buy you a drink.

So in a way, this is kind of the opposite of Attraction Humor Secret #1 – Self-Deprecation. I deliberately chose a couple of attraction humor techniques that are pretty similar, so if you get one of them, you should be good at all three.

As with anything, practice makes perfect, so don’t be afraid to go out there and land flat a few times. At least you’ll have a good time doing it!

– Big Business

Big Business is a professional Love Systems dating coach based in New York and a successful stand-up comedian. He leads the exclusive Love Systems Humor, Improv, and Attraction one-day seminar.

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Perfect Sexual Framing

On our last bootcamp together Future and I talked a bit about some of the drawbacks of learning game, and one of them is that you can never really turn it off, especially while you are watching a movie or TV show.  Every character gets critiqued and every interaction gets corrected.  Romance gets thrown through the game lens and rarely passes the BS test.  It becomes clear to you in every romantic comedy or teen drama how fictional each interaction really is, and how popular media has helped to skew our perception of what it is that attracts the opposite sex.

Bottom line: most dating/pick up/seduction/attraction material that you find in movies or television is complete bullshit.  With a few notable exceptions, they are all simply wish fulfillment on the part of the writers.

Now, I just saw the movie “Youth in Revolt” starring Michael Cera and liked it a lot.  I had a few problems with it (I’m a huge film snob) but overall I give it a hearty thumbs up.  There was one scene, though, that was notable and made me laugh out loud NOT because it was particularly funny or ridiculous, but because it was so spot on.

I’ll spare you the details of the scene, and hit you with a few sample pieces of dialog… (I’m paraphrasing, so forgive me)

Why don’t you pull down the covers and show me what you’ve got going on down there ?

I want to put my head between your legs and wear you like a crown.

and my personal favorite…

I want to take off your clothes and tickle your bellybutton…from the inside.

These lines are gangster.  They are the final stage of sexual framing: talking about what want to do and are planning to do to someone.  They are visual.  They are evocative.  They are dominant.

They are sexy.

(To be clear, I am NOT recommending that you use these lines at the beginning of your interactions with women.  As I mentioned…these are the FINAL stage of sexual framing, not to mention that this movie has been seen by millions, so the exact lines’ effectiveness is surely going to be soured.)

Let’s take a look at some of the things our hero is accomplishing above.

Why don’t you pull down the covers and show me what you’ ve got going on down there ?

Here we start leading the sexual vibe.  He lets her know his intentions as well as his position in this interaction: the leader.  He issues the commands, all while adopting a playful vibe (one of the tools I strongly encourage is using humor when starting your sexual framing.  It softens your initial sexual advances, bookends the ideas in positive emotions, and a host of other awesome sub communications.  It is the reason why I credit humor with all of my early same night lays).

I want to put my head between your legs and wear you like a crown.

If a woman said something like this to you what would go through your mind?  You’d imagine her down there doing wonderful things to your privates.  Well, women do the same thing, gentlemen.  By using visual imagery like this you are letting their imaginations do some of the foreplay for you, and in their mind you know exactly where and how to touch them.

I read an awesome article in the NY Times a year ago which made some incredibly astute observations about women’s sexuality, and one of them that stuck with me was that a good portion of women’s sexuality is about BEING desired; knowing that they are INSPIRING an uncontrollable desire in men.  To that end, when your statements are about what women MAKE you WANT to do to them (as above) it can be incredibly effective.

And lastly…my favorite…

I want to take off your clothes and tickle your bellybutton…from the inside.

Here we have one statement that accomplishes everything already mentioned and more.  Dominant, visual, and it is a “want” statement (as above).  It is doing one other awesome thing, though; something I talk about at length on in my humor seminar…

It sets up an expectation then subverts it. When you hear “tickle your bellybutton” what do you think of?  Something cute and innocent, no doubt.  When he adds the button of “from the inside” at the end it changes the entire tone of the sentence.  It suddenly becomes dirty, funny, spontaneous, and last but certainly not least it becomes unique.  It takes the listener of an emotional ride from fuzzy bunnies to x rated.

My hat is off to you, writers of this scene.  Finally, someone got it right.

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EVERYBODY NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT THIS!!

Tell everyone you see!This is the most important medical discovery in the history of mankind!

http://web.archive.org/web/20041126040807/http:/homepage.mac.com/nikkienikks/iblog/C294808266/E910814554/Media/cnn.html

EVERYBODY NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT THIS!! is a post from Big Business

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World’s Quickest Guide to Same Night Lays…

I got an email from someone recently asking about SNL’s…

“I liked your post on Approach Anxiety, but also I would like to ask you about some keyz on same night lays?”

Some keys? Absolutely…with one caveat. Same Night Lays is a pretty huge topic. I’m currently working on a mini-seminar – now that I’m done writing the Humor and Attraction seminar – which deals with nothing but SNL’s (for five hours), so one could devote thousands of words to the topic. There are differences (some subtle, some not so subtle) with how you are going to attack your evening depending on whether or not you want to get laid that night or just get some digits.

Both goals are perfectly fine, of course. Personally, when I first got started in the community my only thought was of instant gratification. For about two months I hooked up with a different girl every weekend (sometimes two). It was something that I had wanted for a long time; to be that guy who could walk into a bar and walk out with a beautiful woman.

So without going on forever,, here is my response to the above gentleman:

1) Logistics. Once you get good, logistics will fuck you in the ass more often than not. Find out what the girl’s plans are, where she lives, who her friends are…etc, ASAP! (Article on that here)
2) Sexual framing. Introduce the concept of sex into the conversation using humor, then slowly escalate to actually talking about sex. (Example of that here)
3) Touch. Touch. Touch.
4) State your intent. Let them know that you have a non-platonic interest in them. Something like “You’re gonna have to stop being so cool or I will make out with you.”

That’s what I wrote for the email-er, but there’s one more thing I want to add to the list for you guys

5) Push/Pull. Having been on the receiving end of this transaction, I can personally attest to how overwhelming it can be. With every step forward you are taking a step back. With every qualification you offer a disqualification. This ties in really well with having well defined boundaries and a selector attitude.

Each of these topics can be expanded upon (See Braddock’s recent article on Push/Pull), but for the time being, enjoy the cliffs notes!

World’s Quickest Guide to Same Night Lays… is a post from Big Business

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Audio Interview with PUA Keychain

I was recently asked by fellow LoveSystems instructor KeyChain to go over a few of the concepts and techniques that I’ll be teaching in the humor, improv and attraction seminar. I think he did an awesome job putting this interview together, and even gave me few extra ideas for the humor seminar. Below are the links of all four parts of the interview. I think the interview is a little g angster. Enjoy!

PT 1

PT2

PT3

PT4

Audio Interview with PUA Keychain is a post from Big Business

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