“How do I get girls to chase ME?”

Friends,

I think it would be acceptable to describe LoveSystems as a company that is dedicated to teaching men how to get women.  I have personally been involved in hundreds of programs teaching thousands of men this very thing.

But for some men that’s not enough.  For some men the very idea of expending EFFORT to get a woman is beyond the point.  “Who wants to work for it?”  I couldn’t agree more.  I’m way to lazy to try and go out and get laid every…single…time…I want to have sex.  Also, I’ve got other shit to do.  Who has that many hours to spend just hooking up?

It is from here that I bring you a question directly from The Lounge (LoveSystems’ members only message board)

Hi

Many times when I take girls and text them they respond well. But the thing is that I always need to open the conversation, I dont care doing it the first times, but I know girls for a few months that never start texting me but when I text them first they get really social and never flakes.

What am I’m doing wrong?

Quick answer: nothing.  This is just part of male/female dynamics. Men are the chasers. Men are the aggressors. Part of this is a woman’s desire to be chased, and part of it is a woman being attracted to the kind of guy who goes after what he wants.

Part of being masculine is having the attitude of “See. Want. Get.” This doesn’t mean go all cavemen and just started grabbing women off the street, but having the attitude of the pursuer is an attractive quality.

I understand the desire to have women chasing you and blowing up your phone without you doing any work, but that comes W ITH a little work. If you get your identity in check and start in the position of the pursuer, then back off a little sometimes they start coming after you.

Part of it is also adopting the attitude of someone who has women chasing him. Framing your stories with things like “this girl I met a few months ago texted me out of nowhere” or “My first girlfriend asked ME out. Some girls think that’s weird, but I love it when women put out that kind of effort” will make it seem like getting chased is something that you’re used to.

And finally, part of this comes from having an abundance.  You’ll find that the more quality numbers you get, the more dates you’ll go on, and the less time you’ll have available for the women who want to see you.  They sense that lack of desperation, that lack of availability, and they start putting in effort for your attention.

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Super Conference 2011

Hey yall,

Extremely busy here in NYC.  Doing standup, dating ladies, and leading my own bootcamps (whooo!).  Not a ton of time for blogging :(

HOWEVER!  I did want to drop a line to let you know I’ve ALREADY started working on my talk for the Superconference in Vegas this year.  Last year I got voted best presenter for the entire conference, so I want to make sure I do my best to hold the title ;)

The title of the talk is “3 Sets from Start to Finish” and it will be just that: going over everything that happened from meet to sex with 3 distinct women.

Guys, it’s gonna be a sick talk.  I can tell already.  Bring head-diapers, because I’ m gonna make your brains shit.

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“She’s Out of Your League” (the movie)

Those of you who frequent this blog know I have a special place in my heart for the nonsense that is seduction as portrayed by Hollywood. All those guys in the PG-13 movies who were shy and awkward yet managed to land the hottest girl in school by the end of the movie are largely to blame for my misconceptions about sex and dating growing up. Maybe you are a beautiful nerd-flower who just needs someone to take the time to get to know you, but there’s a reason why the stereotypical cheerleader dates the stereotypical jock.Attraction doesn’t work the way that Hollywood says it does. Period.

So here we have She’s Out of Your League, a feel good rom-com about a nerdy TSA agent who manages to get a 10 to fall in love with him…by doing NOTHING!  Nothing is done by this guy in the way of building rapport or value or even just normal conversation, and STILL the super hot one wants to get on him.  NONSENSE, I SAY!

I’ve got no problem with a supposed 5 getting a supposed 10, but the way it happened in the movie NEVER happens in real life.  It is explained away in the movie that the 10 was tired of getting hurt by jerks so she wanted to give the 5 a try, but that’s not how hot women really operate.  If they want a non-jerk, they get a hot non-jerk with some value.

I do appreciate one element of the movie, though.  The inner game element.  One of the big fights that this “couple” has is over the guy thinking he’s not qualified to be dating the girl (and he’s right), which le ads to the girl going into a monologue about how his own nonsense is the only thing ruining their relationship.

Here’s the interesting thing: that happens a lot in real life.  One of the inner game issues that tons of guys deal with is feelings of worthiness.  This comes up a lot with guys who take our seminar, then suddenly find themselves dating women far out of their league and ruining it on purpose.  It’s like you suddenly find yourself at the controls of a SR71 BlackBird and you have no idea how to fly, so you just go ahead and let it crash.

Never wig out because a woman likes you.  There is no out of your league.   The weird thing would be if hot women WEREN’T into you.

Long story short: If you watch this movie, know that this isn’t how guys get hot girls.

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How to Lose Your Virginity…

I recently picked up an interesting collection of non-fiction stories called “How to Lose Your Virginity.” It is a book comprised of real stories from men and women about their first time having sex.

As I read it I couldn’t help but think how many people would benefit from the information collected in this book. I think it is extremely hard when you are growing up a virgin (or are still a virgin) to have a really good idea of what goes on in other people’ s mind s concerning sex. I know that for a long time I had that misconception about women not really enjoying sex, and it made dating and sex extremely difficult for me.  The people in this book come from all walks of life and run the sexual gamut, from women and men who treat their first time like precious stones, protecting it at all costs, to those who just want to get rid of it as quickly as possible.

Moreover, it is extremely important that we recognize how many different sexual philosophies there are out there, either based on how we were raised or our own individual experiences or the random combinations of protein that make up our individual DNA.  With that in mind, you can already take one lesson away from this book: that you can never totally know what to expect when dealing with another person.  Instead of trying to plan out the perfect set, you need to approach game like a basketball player approaches practice.  You drill the basics, but since you can never know what’s going to happen in any specific game, you roll with the punches and deal with each player moment to moment.

Because of this, and other lessons hidden in between the lines of each person’s unique stories, I highly recommend this book to anyone, be they virgins or non.  Not only can it be extremely helpful to your game, but also, I found it immensely entertaining.  Hilarious at moments.  Poignant and heartfelt at others.   Enjoy!

(Pick up your copy of “How to Lose Your Virginity” here)

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The number of women I’ve slept with.

Warning – this is an inner game rant

What’s up, kids?

I was recently doing some personalized 1-1 training here in beautiful NYC when my student asked me how many women I’d slept with (I’m actually doing him a favor by not saying exactly HOW he asked me, because he asked me in the most juvenile and retarded way possible).  I get asked this question way too much, and so now, inspired by the sheer immaturity of the WAY in which my student asked me, here is my official answer:

Why is knowing my number important to yo u?  What difference does my number have on you learning how to get women?  Will knowing my number give you a deeper understanding of Qualification?  “73?  OH!  Compliment them on something BESIDES their looks!  I get it now!”

Will my number give you something to aspire to?  Will it be your benchmark to let you know when you’ve officially got skills?  “Only 53?  Sorry, buddy, but you only have game once you’ve reached 60.”

Knowing my number isn’t important.  In fact, I’m gonna go one step farther and say that asking about my number isn’t just a waste of time, it is also damaging.  It says to me that you are judging success by outside standards, that you are trying to validate your sex life by comparing it to mine.

Define your own success.  Don’t try and sleep with tons of women because you think that’s what being a man is, or what being happy is.  If you want to find that one special girl and go long term with her, go for it.  If you want to sleep with hundreds of women, then go ahead and sleep with hundreds of women, but do it for you.  Don’t do it so you can show people the notches on your belt.

At LoveSystems, we are about teaching men how to have a successful dating/sex life.  For some that means getting into a long term relationship, and for others it means racking up a high number.  But whatever your definition of success is, it should be what YOU WANT.

One of my favorite things about working for LS is how diverse the teaching staff is, and how each one of us has his own definition of success.  Some guys that work for LS love strippers.  Love sleeping with them.  Love dating them.  Theses guys constantly invite me to strip clubs after bootcamp to see if we can “game the strippers.”  I always respond the same way:  “Why would I want that?  I don’t think strippers are hot.  I don’t like fake boobs, glitter or daddy-issues.”

Should I try to sleep with a stripper just so I can tell other guys that I did it and they can validate me with THEIR definition of success?  UGH!  Gross!  Just thinking about it makes me tired/want to take 100 showers.

Moreover, there are guys out there who only sleep with women so they can have a higher number than other guys, so they ask about my number so see if they’ve beaten me.  Is that what being high value means?  Is that Alpha?  Does that really sound satisfying to you?

It does?!  Well then, Merry Christmas my man!  Go ahead and take your victory lap.  I give you permission to tell everyone you know that you’ve slept with more women than me, Big Business, a professional dating coach.  However many women you’ve slept with, you can say Big Business slept with one less.  Or five less.  Or ten less.  You can tell people I’ve slept with one woman, or no women.

Tell people I’m a virgin.  I don’t care.  I don’t care because having a high number isn’t success to me.

What is success to Big Business?  I want to be an amazing comedian.  I want to make people laugh with my material.  I want to have my writing published and/or produced.  I want to never have to worry about money.  And oh yeah…I want to have sex 500,000 times, but I don’t care if I do it all with one girl or fifty.

It doesn’t matter what my history is.  The only thing that matters is where you’re at, where you want to be, and how we’re gonna get you there.

But if you just want to compare dick sizes, I’ll save you the trouble.  It’s medium.

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